Paraphrasing Paradigm

Welcome to my babblethrough post for the point-and-click adventure game, Paradigm!

Okay. New self-imposed blogging rule: If the summary section of my video game reviews goes over 1500 words, I’m doing a separate babblethrough post about the game. And that’s why this post is happening! Here’s my summary of the entire 8 hours I spent in Krusz with my mutated outcast friend.

!!!MAJOR FREAKING SPOILER WARNING!!! STOP reading and scrolling immediately if you don’t want me to ruin this great game for you. Below will include all the plot details and tons of screenshots. You have been warned.


Oh , boy… summarizing all the craziness should be fun. To start off, I found myself in Paradigm’s room with his all-knowing tumor offering to give me a tutorial (one of the options leads to a live action dog sitting at a computer… for no reason at all). Plugging in John 3000, the sleazy computer and Paradigm’s friend, led me to the game’s first mission: stop the power station from blowing up by retrieving a floppy disk from Space Cadet, Krusz’s resident drug addict.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 8
Good to know…

Paradigm just wants to finish his electronic music EP and become famous, but John motivates him with a papier-mâché simulation of what happens if the power station explodes (BOOM!!).

Paraphrasing Paradigm 1.png
Of course I stopped to listen to Doug the beatboxing eggplant on my way to Space Cadet. Loved those phat beatsies!

Unsurprisingly, Space Cadet wants moar drugs before he’ll fork over the floppy. Paradigm reluctantly has to go to the drug dealer (who has a huge sign in front of his mansion that says “Not a Drug Dealer”… that’ll totally throw off the cops). The drug dealer wants Paradigm to bring him the severed head of a cop to prove he isn’t a cop.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 9
We’re off to see the drug dealer, the wonderful drug dealer of Krusz.

Paradigm doesn’t want to do this (I don’t blame him) and needs to assemble a fake head. I did this by launching a pylon rocket off the top of Butt Mountain to distract The Cone (lord of the pylons) so I could cut the head off of his mannequin wife, then combined that with a police hat. The guy who’s totally not a drug dealer (sure…) falls for it and I’m let inside the mansion.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 10
Sorry, The Cone. I need your wife’s head.

The dealer’s apathetic imprisoned mutant octopus vendor, Stef, needs a Super Fun Cool Drug Enthusiast Token before she’ll sell Paradigm some Space Dust. The dealer (a tiny fella who rides on top of an old man with a walker) wants an absurd amount of money for said token, but challenges Paradigm to beat his high score on Boosting Thugs, the MegaBRO game all about giving street thugs badly needed confidence with compliments.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 2.png
Go, Dooder! I should’ve got bonus points for the lightning compliment.

The first level goes down easy once I replaced the controller with a working one. The drug dealer informs me there are astonishingly 34,123 levels in total, but Paradigm doesn’t have time for that. With Stef’s advice, I decipher a Konami code of sorts using a radio outside of Paradigm’s trailer to clear the game instantly. With the Space Dust in hand, I returned to Space Cadet to find him passed out cold. Paradigm simply picks up the floppy disk and goes back to the power station (so that whole Space Dust quest was unnecessary).

Paraphrasing Paradigm 11
He was sitting on the floppy disk the whole time.

The scene back at the power station was something… I was very sad to find Doug seemingly dying (he was just faking it to get out of rent). Also out of the ordinary was a DUPA Genetics sentient water being robot henchmen blocking the door. Talking to him reveals he is looking for a defunct Prodigy Child named Paradigm – “the most ugly, vile-looking, poor excuse for a living thing I’ve seen”. Ouch! That line brings Paradigm to tears, for sure. Luckily, the Security Henchmen doesn’t know he’s talking to Paradigm.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 12.png
Doug… no!!

Paradigm uses his newly acquired thug-boosting skills to convince the water being to leave his robot body, hoping to be reincarnated by the water cycle into the drink of celebrity Bill Murray.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 3.png
Thug Boosted!

As Paradigm enters the power station, a cutscene shows the DUPA Genetics CEO sloth, Olof, ordering a scientist, Mr. Jorpodoskovoski, to teleport Paradigm directly to the DUPA Genetics office area. While talking to John inside the power station, Paradigm suddenly doesn’t feel so good and is ripped apart and away from the universe. Before being reassembled inside DUPA Genetics, Paradigm exists briefly a floating head in the multiverse, having a nice chat with the manager.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 13
The ruler of the multiverse is kind of an asshole.

The next abandoned office area dungeon is ruled by another sentient water being, the Water Cooler (of Doom). To escape, Paradigm drinks the water cooler dry after forging a DUPA Genetics mug. Paradigm was also horrified that the water cooler calls his taps “nipple nozzles”… ew.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 14.png
I have a new appreciation for what office water coolers have to endure now. All that small talk… *shudders*

Out in the hallway, Paradigm gets the DUPAGen, a handheld device that has a map, minigames, and a cassette player. Eventually, I made my way to the lab area and met the Rebel Leader lady and her two-headed cat friend, Mr. Mittens. Her group PAGST (People Against Generally Shitty Things) are planning to take out Olof and she needs Paradigm’s help.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 15.png
Now I want a DUPAGen…

As told in rhyming children’s storybook format, Olof was created by former DUPA Genetics CEO Klas. The former CEO’s evil plan was to take over the world so that everyone had to listen to Glam Metal music… huh. The Prodigy Child program was designed to help with this by inheriting all the wealth from their rich parents.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 16
After the book, Paradigm says “I feel like I want all of my news relayed to me via rhyme now.” I’m inclined to agree.

Sadly, Klas passed away from candy bar overdose and Olof took over. Olof loved his creator, but Klas didn’t care about the vending machine sloth at all. Olof still vowed to carry on with his master’s legacy. Now there is a problem with the Prodigy Children, and after 12 years to their parents horror, they all want to pursue careers in art. The mutated Prodigy Child, Paradigm, is unaffected so Olof wants to dissect him to figure out how to fix the Prodigy Child army.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 4
A world with only Glam Metal would be a horrible world, indeed.

The key to stopping Olof lies with a scientist, who had an unfortunate teleporting accident when he tried to escape the Rebel Leader. Now all that remains of him is a floating torso. Paradigm’s next mission to collect his body parts from around the facility in order to reassemble him. A rather gruesome task…

Paraphrasing Paradigm 17
Poor torso.

One arm is in the elevator hooked up as a high five device. The other arm is sitting in the lab. One leg is stuck in the starting hallway’s vent and the Secretary Knight’s lance is needed to retrieve it. The other leg has joined the Glam Metal Church and needs to be convinced with an instant Swedish man to go with Paradigm. The head ended up in HeadMart and I needed to enter the trippy IT realm to restore the Wi-Fi so a robot could retrieve it for Paradigm.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 18.png
Yep! One of the body parts gained free will and the ability to talk.

Throwing all the parts into the teleporter and pushing the button saves the day… mostly. One cheesy anime style cutscene later, Mr. Jorpodoskovoski emerges extremely disfigured, but alive at least. He tells Paradigm the info he needs is on the DUPA Genetics space station. He transports Paradigm there using the sketchy teleporter. Thankfully, nothing went wrong!

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Yikes…

Aboard the space station, a faulty prototype translator device prevents Paradigm from saying the needed commands to complete the mission. With the help of his three clones created by a nearby cloning machine, the device is disabled and Paradigm returns to the lab. The info gathered from the space station reveals Olof’s weakness – he is genetically engineered from sloth DNA and they couldn’t remove all of his natural instincts. Therefore, Olof’s downfall is any tree that is over 5 feet tall. The next mission is to get that tree and find a way into Olof’s office.

Paraphrasing Paradigm 19
The command “Combust” makes the clones disintegrate. There can be only one Paradigm.

To grow the tree, I needed seeds and nonradioactive soil (a rare thing in Krusz). The instant tree seeds are in a vending machine. To get money to purchase them, Paradigm needs to steal money from the Glam Metal Church’s collection by posing as a homeless man.  The dirt is in the dingy basement where the defunct prodigy children are dumped. One of them is using fresh dirt for a pretentious art display. Paradigm needs to knock her out by unscrewing a platform above her to take the dirt. I just have to note I got the screwdriver from a cupcake and that was hilarious.

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She’s fine… probably.

To get to Olof, I needed to snag the necklace from the Glam Metal Church’s messiah, a pug who was once a wrestler (he lived the in excess tenant a little too much and needed a new body). He’s a huge fan of JRPGs and can’t turn down a RPG battle for the necklace. With the help of a laser pointer, the necklace is mine. A quick chat with the Rebel Leader who says Mr. Mittens will sneak ahead and “mark” where to plant the tree, and then it’s off to Olof’s office!

Paraphrasing Paradigm 21.png
The Metal Messiah is a self-centered jerk, but points for epic entrance!

Shrinking down with magic flowers on the Secretary Knight’s desk allows Paradigm to use the doggy door into the CEO’s chambers. Here Paradigm runs into a parody paywall. I’m given the option to click an ad 10,000 times or enter credit card information. I opted to scam the Glam Metal Church nun to get her credit card info. Before I could do that, I had to get rid of another pesky sentient water being in the form of a mobile water heater. Luckily, this one had a happy ending! I made her get grabbed by the Prodigy Child factory claw and the game showed me a nice cutscene where she lived happily ever after with a new family. Aw!

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At least one of the water beings didn’t get drank or evaporated.

Final showdown time! Olof is very jealous that Klas liked Paradigm more and can’t wait to kill him. He also mentions all the residents of Kruz are failed Prodigy children. Eventually, the dialog leads me to choose an ending, which I still can’t stop laughing at.

  • Fan Ending – Horribly drawn slideshow poking fun at the heavy sex themes in many fanfictions,
  • Gonna Be Alright – A future Paradigm reflecting on everything working out just fine.
  • Supreme Glam Leader Paradigm – Paradigm is infused with vodka and becomes the beautiful leader of the Glam Metal Church, living in excess to the max.
  • It Was All A Dream – Shows a live action sequence of a man collapsing in the desert and screaming at a keyboard buried in the sand.

Choosing Actual Ending leads to the final puzzle.

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I remember VHS!

Phase 1 is deactivating the laser weapons system with the help of candy bars and a jacked up mouse. After that, I planted the tree in the cat dropping marked spot (Olof tried to stop me but he couldn’t really do anything). At first the tree doesn’t seem to grow and then BAM! Olof can’t resist hanging off one of the branches and the battle is won. Paradigm is now free to return to his electronic music dreams.

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Weirdest weakness ever…

In the epilogue, I took control of Doug in a sweet new ride. He speeds off to a bus stop to catch up with Paradigm and Olof in a stroller. They are on their way to an electronic music gig. I’d call that a super happy ending!

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Rock on, boys! Or should I say beatbox on?

⚡Thanks for reading!⚡

If for some odd reason you want to read more of my posts, you can find a somewhat organized (and usually up to date) archive of my ramblings… I mean, articles here!

Published by

LightningEllen

I'm a wannabe writer and an avid video gamer with a slight (okay, maybe extreme) Amiibo addiction. I'm from the coastal province of Nova Scotia in Canada, eh. When I'm not gaming, I have a steady job thing I have to go to. It pays for the gaming thing though. :)

11 thoughts on “Paraphrasing Paradigm”

  1. While I think it would take some time for me to get used to the artstyle, the script looks really solid. I like this style of humor and especially the guy faking his death to dodge the rent joke was real good. I’d probably play this one for the writing for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

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