Welcome to my monthly progress post that happens on the 13th, which marks the start of a new fiscal month here on Livid Lightning. Get it? XIII is my favourite number… because I like Final Fantasy XIII a lot? Jeez… tough crowd.
Oh. My. Maker. It’s the last freaking month of 2018, and that merry Christmas thing is, like, 12 days away… wow. 2018 has been one of the hardest years of my life so I’m definitely not sorry to see it go. Very much looking forward to a new year, and hopefully a new beginning! I got this.
I was planning on re-posting my entire Dragon Age Origins babblethrough series this fiscal month, but that took a backseat to re-posting the Later Levels Creative Christmas community event, which seemed more seasonally appropriate, no? I’m in the middle of that now. I’ll also be partaking in AmbiGaming‘s awesome 12 Days of Gamer Blogmas community event. That’ll start on December 26th and run for 12 days. Exciting!!
Also also, I’ll be blog-sitting AmbiGaming for a few weeks while my good friend Athena takes a hard earned break from all the epic article writing over there. Hopefully I don’t screw up this gig… or forget to feed her website. No pressure! But yeah, you should see 6 posts from me over there in the coming weeks.
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Things I Wrote Here
Becoming the Grey Warden
Path of the Grey Warden 1: Order to Orzammar
Path of the Grey Warden 2: Ah! Broodmother?! KILL IT!!!
Bowser for Santa!
Creative Christmas 1: Santa-ing for Someone Special
Creative Christmas 2: Magical Gaming Memory
Creative Christmas 3: Santa’s Badass Helper
Creative Christmas 4: Merry Gaming Melodies
Creative Christmas 5: Oh No the Mistletoe…
Things I Wrote Elsewhere
Banjo-Kazooie | The Game That Defines Livid Lightning for Normal Happenings. I’m honored to be a part of that project!
Chrismage Day 13: Let Nothing You Dismay for the Well-Red Mage. This is the difficult tale of how little Ellen got hooked on video games. So excited to have made my debut post on this great website!
XIII Random Great Things I Read From Others
Alas, I don’t have the time or energy to obsessively read blogs like I did in the past. But here’s a random sampling of cool posts I was able to read lately. Keep being awesome, everyone!
I) Nana Marfo wrote an awesome, badass, and from the heart review of my beloved Final Fantasy XIII. Great read!
II) Cupcakes and Machetes got me hooked on an entire book series with her review of After the Crown (The Indranan War #2). Nicely done!
III) Beal honored a very awesome and badass veteran in his special Veterans Day 2018 post. I have so much respect for anyone who serves their country. Hate the politicians, not the soldiers.
IV) I don’t have much experience with the Tomb Raider series (rented one of the PS games once, long ago) and I really enjoyed learning all about Lara in NekoJonez’s Tomb Raider Writer’s Raid event.
V) Red Metal’s expert review of King’s Quest III: To Heir is Human (those games sure have amusing titles!) was a great read, along with the rest of his King’s Quest reviews. Seems like a pioneering series that looses it’s playability in today’s world. Go, Roberta Williams!
VI) I was intrigued reading The Otaku Judge’s thoughts on a cartoon about dragons who morph into fighter jets, not gonna lie.
VII) Chapter 12 of the Shamelessly Awesome Not-A-Narcissist’s Broken Rose fanfiction is out! I’m truly impressed by how well this epic writer handles such delicate subject matter.
VIII) RAWR!! I need to be more aggressive and Professional Moron’s How To post helped me a lot with that. *smashes a chair over her computer*
IX) I love Vikings and Norse Mythology things, and Clan Geek’s post on Vikings and Valhalla in Gaming was amazing!
X) It’s cold, there’s lots of snow on the ground here, and I wanna be on a beach… so I really enjoyed Susie’s slideshow of badass beach sand sculptures. Can I come live with you in Florida??
XI) OMG!! Pokemon cards were my jam as a kid. I even had this Scyther one Kuribo talks about. Aw… I remember my parents buying it for me from a card shop near a train station. Good memories!
XII) The loss of a pet is always hard to take. Nikki over at Normal Happenings wrote a very emotional tribute to her late cat, Lucy.
XIII) It was very cool to see Athena of AmbiGaming do a review for a developer. Lucid Path certainly seems like a neat experience!
Games Completed So Far in 2018: 15 (+1)
Demon’s Souls – Didn’t get very far… at all… but had a blast failing with a friend! Planning to review it soon based on my brief playtime.
Things I’m Playing Now
Yikes.. My in-progress games list is starting to get outta control, again. I need to focus here, people!
Metal Gear Solid 2 Sons of Liberty
When I declare I wanna Platinum something, it’ll take a lot to make me quit. I was seriously considering it last update post, but I’m gonna stick with it for now. I’ve skipped over the sniper VR mission with Meryl that I’m stuck on. Going to take a swing at the rest of the VR stuff before coming back to it.
The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt
Main story wise, I helped out the ugliest man in the world and learned where Ciri is hiding. BUT I decided to do the million side quests and Witcher Contracts before I go do that. I have a feeling something big will go down after I go to Ciri and I want to be prepared.
The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild
Zero playtime. I was planning on playing it during my work trip to Alberta. Unfortunately, I was really depressed during the trip so I ended up reading an eBook on my phone instead of gaming during off hours. I plan to pick it up again over Christmas when I’m at my family’s house. Not really my cup of Zelda, but I want to finish it.
Detroit Become Human
Picked it up during a Black Friday sale. I heard good things about pressing X to wash dishes and story stuff, so I thought what the heck! So far I’ve only played it for about an hour before my attention was lost on other annoying life things (like getting sent to Alberta for work). It’s a good game with one heck of a dramatic scene at the start. I hope to Platinum this by 2019… if I feel up to it.
Big Gaming Plans (subject to change at any time based on moodiness level)
As mentioned above, going to try to Platinum Detroit before 2019 rolls around… wish me luck!
Funko Horizon Zero Dawn Blind Box Figures – Picked 5 of these up on my trip to Alberta and very pleased with the results!
Wolf Amiibo – Specially delivered from an awesome friend (thank you), this is now officially my favourite Amiibo. I ordered all the rest of the new Smash ones too, but they accidentally got delivered to my parents’ house during my online checkout rush. I’ll show those off next fiscal month!
Well-Red Mage Warrior of Light Card – For being a proud patron of the Well-Red Mage, the cool mage dude sent me this card with an inspiring note. Thank you!! Made my day when I got it 🙂
I shamefully bought another Loot Crate because Mass Effect was featured again… hope I get something better than a bathmat this time! C’mon, something with Liara on it, please!! Ahem.
Books Read in 2018: 9 (+2)
Behind the Throne (Indranan War #1) by K.B. Wagers – OMG AWESOME! Former gunrunner Hail is the most badass princess ever, and now my favourite novel protagonist. I enjoyed the message that even female dominated societies can be kinda evil (all people can be jerks no matter what gender). It’s very Star Wars-y with a dash of Mass Effect vibes. Love it!
After the Crown (Indranan War #2) by K.B. Wagers – A lot of character growth happens after Hail pretty much loses everything, but gets back on her feet thanks to her old mentor. Hao is also a badass!
Beyond the Empire (Indranan War #3) by K.B. Wagers – This series just keeps getting better. About half way through this book now. Her Majesty’s warpath of vengeance, with her badass crew behind her, has been a true treat to read so far.
Movies Watched in 2018: 1 (+1)
TV Shows Watched in 2018: 1
Let’s Plays Watched in 2018: 4
The Secret – Okay… I hit rock bottom recently and had a full blown emotional meltdown after a rough year of dealing with stuff. Thankfully, I was able to reconnect with one of my best friends who I’ve known since Grade 7 (I’m almost 30 now… wow). We watched this self-help movie during my weekend visit, and as corny as some of the messaging was, it actually helped me a lot.
The big takeaways are – never give up on what you want in life, be proud of yourself, and the Law of Attraction will take care of the rest. Think good thoughts and good things happen. Think bad thoughts and bad things happen. Time for me to start thinking positively! Thinking negatively has gotten me absolutely nowhere, and almost cost me one of my best friends.
Life & Other Things
Yep. I’ve been a horrible recurring trainwreck of emotions for this entire year, and a huge ass to one of my best friends. It’s not just this year either. It’s like I’ve been stuck on a vicious cycle of self-loathing my whole life, always lashing out on the people I care about the most for the stupidest of reasons (poisonous jealousy being the biggest demon that triggers my strings to snap). I’ve lost so many friends due to my emotion regulation issues. There’s a reason I’m alone most of the time. There’s a reason I spend the vast majority of my time hiding on the internet as LightningEllen.
Deleting my old blog and disappearing off the internet in May was just the tip of the iceberg that sunk me this year. Lightning was a great coping mechanism since 2014… but all mechanisms wear out eventually. I need some moar coping mechanisms, dammit! Video games just aren’t enough anymore.
My friend suggested I go check out something called a Rage Room near me. Basically, you pay them money. In return, they rent you safety gear, weapons, and give you stuff to smash inside a room. I did it and it was AMAZING! Feeling the things smash and letting the leash off my repressed rage was so freaking therapeutic. I felt like a totally new woman after.
I’m really bad at bottling up my feelings, and then powerlessly watching as I explode every so often. It’s important for me to find ways to actually feel those emotions in a safe way, not repress them. Smashing things with all my might gave my pent up rage a physical outlet. It’s almost like the weight of the world was lifted off my soul.
2019 will be better. I won’t beat myself up about the past anymore, and I won’t worry about those scary medical test results that still haven’t come yet. I will work on becoming a better person. And I will show the people I love how much they mean to me. I will never, ever push away another friend just because on some depressed level I think that I don’t deserve to have them in my life.
There you have it! My monthly progress post thingy. What’s anyone reading this up to these days? Comments section is down below if you want to share your thoughts on things!
⚡Thanks for reading!⚡
If for some odd reason you want to read more of my posts, you can find a somewhat organized (and usually up to date) archive of my ramblings… I mean, articles here!