It’s time I got brave enough to officially come out in the form of a blog post, internet. My name is Ellen, and I’m a demiromantic asexual. What exactly does that mean? Well, I’ll happily try to explain it! It’s complicated, but I’ll try. Ahem.
I’m sure everyone is aware of that sexual orientation thing. You are defined as straight if you are sexually attracted to the opposite gender, you are defined as gay if you’re sexually attracted to the same gender, and you are defined as bi if you’re sexually attracted to any gender. But what if you aren’t sexually attracted to anyone? No. There’s nothing wrong with you. That, my friends, is defined as being asexual. And it is indeed a valid sexual orientation representing about 1% of the human population. For my whole life I thought I was broken and that something was wrong with me. While talking with a very good friend I finally discovered what asexuality was early this year, at last explaining a whole lot of things about my life so far, and most importantly, showing me I’m not alone in the way I feel about love.
Welcome to my monthly progress post that (usually) happens on the 13th, which marks the start of a new fiscal month here on Livid Lightning (but not this month). Get it? XIII is my favourite number… because I like Final Fantasy XIII a lot? Jeez… tough crowd.
True story: The Final Fantasy games have taught me roman numerals. That’s how I know 20 is XX (I’m right, right??). Not sure how useful that knowledge is in today’s world, but oh well. Anyway, here’s the late edition of my blog’s fiscal month update! Happy 4/20 to all my stoner friends out there too, by the way. Not my jam, to be honest, but if it makes you happy, blaze it responsibly, eh!
I’m so sorry, internet, but my mind is a freaking mess, no matter how hard I try to fix it. I haven’t been able to social media at all this past week… just focusing on work (busier than usual) and a neat IRL side project with an old college buddy (tight deadline on that one). My moods are all over the place: irrational rage, sadness, hopelessness, intense feelings of isolation, and my anxiety levels have been way over 9,000.
It’s a definite pattern with me. I’m on top of the world for a while, then I crash hard, push everyone away because it feels like they are pushing me away, feel lonely, feel bad about everything, feel really happy again… cycle repeats.
Anyway, detailed personal whining about the whys of what’s bugging me incoming. Feel free to ignore this post. I’ve hinted a bit about some medical things I’ve had going on lately, and this is the full lowdown now that my brain has finally snapped (again). I guess I just need to vent on the internet with this post. The important thing is that I didn’t delete myself from the internet this time. A definite improvement!
Reader discretion is also strongly advised since this post contains coarse language and depressing themes.
Welcome to my monthly progress post that happens on the 13th, which marks the start of a new fiscal month here on Livid Lightning. Get it? XIII is my favourite number… because I like Final Fantasy XIII a lot? Jeez… tough crowd.
Winter…. I’m begging you… PLEASE GO AWAY! I’m so tired of snowbanks, freezing weather, my car getting stuck, and every part of my body hurts from shoveling and falling on icy sidewalks.
To top it all off, my area of the world likes to do this Daylight Saving Time crap where we set the clocks ahead an hour last weekend. Not only does that mess with my internal clock, it also means I get to walk to work in the dark-cold again. Yay… Seriously. We aren’t all farmers who need max daylight hours these days… or whatever the hell the reason for originally starting this was. Some archaic traditions need to die, and changing the clocks is one of them.
Spring and actual longer days will come soon. But yeah, here’s what I’ve been up to this fiscal month… so tired.
Platform Played On: 3DS
Developer: Project Sora, Sora Ltd.
Genre: Third-Person Shooter Release Date: March 23, 2012
Wannabe Writer’s Note: This is the re-posting of the Kid Icarus Uprising review I wrote on my old website. This article was originally posted on September 19, 2015. Enjoy past me’s mostly unedited ramblings! My Amiibo addiction has apparently been a problem for many years now…
Prior to this game I had no experience with the Kid Icarus series. Mostly due to my crippling Amiibo addiction, I wanted to see what game the Pit, Palutena, and Dark Pit Amiibo came from. This led me to check stock at my local EB Games. The search revealed that they had a mint condition used copy that I snapped up in March. I really enjoyed the banter between the characters and humor in the game. This unique charm helped me get passed some glaring faults I found.
Confession. I’m sorta not feeling the whole writing about games and being social (online and offline) thing lately, and for the 100th time since I started blogging. Trying to force myself to review a few games I’ve beaten recently (among other posts) is… well, agonizing. It must be this time of year and the fact winter just won’t GO AWAY, GODDAMMIT!! I’m so tired of falling on ice and crawling over snowbanks on un-plowed sidewalks… Maker, why is my city so cheap?? Ahem. This is a FUN HOBBY that SHOULD NOT feel like a chore. I keep yelling that at myself, but I never listen. Sigh.
But yeah, my blogging motivation level is slowly approaching “inexplicably delete myself off the internet” levels of “why am I still doing this and nobody cares” again. Not there yet, at least. My mind is a strange place… Thankfully, these days I have enough self-awareness to not let my emotional turbulence and social problems destroy me. Ups and downs happen. Moods swing. People change. Hearts break. It’s not my fault. None of us are here forever. Just gotta deal with it. Grab a controller and carry on, eh!
Anyway, I saw this writing prompt from Normal Happenings‘ cool Daily Inkling series of posts (awesome idea). I thought I’d take a stab at this one to switch things up and give my brain something else to ponder. Woot. Distractions.
Receive ten words from the random word generator. Tell a ten sentence story using each word in order, one per sentence.
And the almighty RNG God stuck me with these wonderful words: